Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
