Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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