Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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