you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
