haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
