Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
