you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
