question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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