Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
