I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
