Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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