perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's always time for handjobs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
