When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
