mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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