I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
