STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
