I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
