you traded sex for a burrito?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
