she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
