haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
