Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
