honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
