dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
