I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am spending my child support on dildos
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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