BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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