K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
