We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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