Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
