A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
