Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
