she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
