Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
