nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
