his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
