best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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