i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
