you win again, gameday.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
