he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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