why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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