i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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