then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Alive.
So much puke
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
