I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
