u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
