i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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