i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
