if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
