well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
