So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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