You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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