like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
