I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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