so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He? As in you personified your dick?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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