I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
